Sascha Martin’s Ripping News: the Podcast, by John Arthur Nichol

Teaser 2: Sascha Martin’s Gobbly Goo, Part Two

Mary-Alice, 2M drama queen and influencer, has been exposed in ways she never thought possible. Will her image survive this catastrophe?

But incredibly, it’s not just about her.

All of Landfill Public School is prey to Sascha’s insensitive, insatiable invention, every secret laid bare as the racing, rumbling, radiating tide of blush-raising ruin spits and gobbles and squelches inexorably on.

Is this curtains for Landfill … and mucky curtains at that?

Is it the end for Planet Earth?

Note: This brand new recording of Teaser 2 is an improvement, I hope, on the original version.

There should be an audio player above. If it’s not there, please use the alternative player at the end of this post.

Alternative player:

Sascha Martin’s Ripping News: the Podcast, by John Arthur Nichol

Teaser 1: Sascha Martin’s Gobbly Goo, Part One

Yes, it’s all great fun, until somebody loses their knickers!

When Sascha’s latest news drops, it falls on Mary-Alice to reveal its unspeakable secret. Now the air is full of bugs, beasts and birthday suits, and Landfill is vanishing faster than you can say bare bottoms.

Who ever thought the apocalypse would be so embarrassing?

Note: This brand new recording of Teaser 1 is an improvement, I hope, on the original version.

There should be an audio player above. If it’s not there, please use the alternative player at the end of this post.

Alternative player:

I’ve created an epub and pdf version of Sascha Martin’s Gobbly Goo, the story I narrated in the three podcast teasers.

Here it is.

But I don’t have a cover design yet and I don’t see one of those arriving any time soon. Zombie Dust and Pitchy Witch have the same issue. And the Derry Girls book.

A Wee Bit of Integrity: Limericks After Derry Girls Seasons 1 and 2: the free sample is ready.

I’ve also finished the free samples for these books now:

Sascha Martin’s Pitchy Witch
Sascha Martin’s Zombie Dust
The Fifth Line: Limericks After Lear Book One
The Next Hundred Lears: Limericks After Lear, Book Two

You’ll find them in the shop at JohnArthurNichol.com.

I’ve also finished the free samples for these books now:

Sascha Martin’s Pitchy Witch
Sascha Martin’s Zombie Dust
The Fifth Line: Limericks After Lear Book One
The Next Hundred Lears: Limericks After Lear, Book Two

You’ll find them at JohnArthurNichol.com.

Sascha Martin’s Christmas Eve: the free sample is ready for download.

More titles to follow.

I’ve started on the free samples of my books. The first ones are ready: Sascha Martin’s Rocket-Ship, Sascha Martin’s Time Machine and Sascha Martin’s Super Ball. These are the three full colour picture books that Manuela Pentangelo illustrated.

The samples I’ve made are pretty fair, I think. Each one begins at the start of the story itself, and skips all that front matter (title page, copyright and so on) that usually fills up free book tasters. You can choose the PDF or Epub version, or download both.

You’ll find them in the book links here.

I’ll do the free sample for Sascha Martin’s Christmas Eve next. This book also features Manuela’s illustrations, but the format is different from the picture books.

I hope you’ll give these samples a try, and let me know what you think.

I’m working out if I can host my podcast on micro.blog directly. I mean, I can, but I don’t think I have the skills to make sure everything looks right in Apple Podcasts. That all the information is there, and in the right fields.

I like quirky, unusual people, with offbeat humour and deep wells of laughter.

I’ve been trying micro.blog for a couple of years now, on and off. Recently I moved my website here. It feels right because we’re all works in progress - micro.blog, me, and my site.

I’ve had a lot of websites, too, which also felt fake. And I could never write email newsletters because … what on earth would I say?

I don’t use Facebook or Instagram, or the app formerly known as Twitter. I’ve tried them, and the remains of my efforts are still there, I think, but those apps never gelled with me. There was never a good use to make of them, for an introvert like me. It all felt very strange and artificial.

As I voice what I’ve written, I’m confronted by the urge to rewrite. There’s always another way to say what’s been said, so no piece of writing is ever quite finished.

Trying not to rewrite as I record is just one challenge among many.

My kind of writing isn’t really meant for picture books. It goes on too long. It follows ideas into the undergrowth and loses sight of the main path. It arrives, eventually, but it’s all about the journey.

Manuela wrestled three of Sascha Martin’s adventures into picture books, but it couldn’t go on. A fourth, Sascha Martin’s Christmas Eve, was an experiment with black and white in a new format. It’s a good-looking book, but it’s still not quite where Sascha wants to go.

My writing doesn’t fit anyone’s genre.

I write in rhyming verse, for no good reason, and rhyming verse is meant to be heard out loud. Hence the podcast - Sascha Martin’s Ripping News. No one writes narrative verse these days, not for any length of time, but for me it’s the simplest way to tell a story. The form is part of what happens, and it helps to guide the tale.

I’ve written other stories like this. One’s about a werewolf. One’s about a gorgon concerned for its legacy. One’s about a Pharaoh who’s just too busy to die. And then there’s the girl who encounters a ghost. I should publish them here perhaps, or record them, or gather them in a single volume with spot illustrations by someone funny and clever.

Yes. That’d be cool.

I can only record audio on Sundays. The time in between fills up with self-doubt and criticism.

Politicians and certain others aside, we tend to dislike hearing ourselves. Listening to my own voice is difficult. I’d love to hear Sascha’s stories read by someone who really knows what they’re doing with their voice, an actor, a performer, with audio production by experts.

But we start where we are.

Work continues on episodes of the podcast. When I started this I didn’t appreciate how many obstacles I’d be facing. Surely, I thought, I can record myself reading the stories.

I’m not an actor, though. I’m not a performer, and I’m not an audio engineer.

But I am a huge self-critic, and the internal voice is forever damning my speech, my expression, my technical skills and my editing. It’s constantly rubbishing the entire project. All I want to do is get these stories out there in an accessible form - short audio episodes to fit into busy routines - to see if there’s an audience for them. But in my mind I’m comparing them to the BBC.

I didn’t think I had to voice actual characters. I thought I could just read their lines expressively. But as I go on I find myself wanting real voices for Sascha and Luca, Aggie, Aisha and the indomitable, insufferable Mary-Alice. I have a Sascha voice that I don’t much like, and a Mary-Alice tone that sometimes hits right.

Recently I asked someone with a wonderful to be the voice of Aisha. I thought she’d wandered off to other endeavours, but she’s still on board, still keen, and still sounds brilliant. The podcast is progressing, and one day it will launch, officially. Meanwhile, the teasers are available here on the site.

It’s science on the fly as Sascha crafts a critically cataclysmic collision of cosmic consequence, and suddenly it’s the girls they’re all afraid of. Sascha Martin’s Zombie Dust.

Work continues on episodes of the podcast. When I started this I didn’t appreciate how many obstacles I’d be facing. Surely, I thought, I can record myself reading the stories.

I’m not an actor, though. I’m not a performer, and I’m not an audio engineer.

But I am a huge self-critic, and the internal voice is forever damning my speech, my expression, my technical skills and my editing. It’s constantly rubbishing the entire project. All I want to do is get these stories out there in an accessible form - short audio episodes to fit into busy routines - to see if there’s an audience for them. But in my mind I’m comparing them to the BBC.

I didn’t think I had to voice actual characters. I thought I could just read their lines expressively. But as I go on I find myself wanting real voices for Sascha and Luca, Aggie, Aisha and the indomitable, insufferable Mary-Alice. I have a Sascha voice that I don’t much like, and a Mary-Alice tone that sometimes hits right.

Recently I asked someone with a wonderful accent to be the voice of Aisha. I thought she’d wandered off to other endeavours, but she’s still on board, still keen, and still sounds brilliant. The podcast is progressing, and one day it will launch, officially. Meanwhile, the teasers are available here on the site.

It’s science on the fly as Sascha crafts a critically cataclysmic collision of cosmic consequence, and suddenly it’s the girls they’re all afraid of. Sascha Martin’s Zombie Dust.

Where can you run, on a mountain made of balls? How do you hide from a drooling girl?

It’s all slippery slopes and midnight cravings as Sascha battles a pair of apocalypses only he could have created.

Where can you run, on a mountain made of balls? How do you hide from a drooling girl?

It’s all slippery slopes and midnight cravings as Sascha battles a pair of apocalypses only he could have created.

A Wee Bit of Integrity is my book of limericks based on the Irish TV show that I loved, called Derry Girls.

I wanted to use some of the show’s imagery on the book’s cover, and wrote to Channel 4 in the UK (many times) to seek their permission. They’re the copyright holders, but I also wrote to Hat Trick, the production company, and even tried to contact Lisa McGee, who wrote the series.

None of them replied. Ever.

It’s a jolly bad show, I reckon!

So until I can afford to have an illustrated cover designed, my Wee Bit of Integrity must endure as is. Sob!

Of course, if you have a direct line to the rights department at Channel 4, I’d really appreciate your help :)

A Wee Bit of Integrity is my book of limericks based on the Irish TV show that I loved, called Derry Girls.

I wanted to use some of the show’s imagery on the book’s cover, and wrote to Channel 4 in the UK (many times) to seek their permission. They’re the copyright holders, but I also wrote to Hat Trick, the production company, and even tried to contact Lisa McGee, who wrote the series.

None of them replied. Ever.

It’s a jolly bad show, I reckon!

So until I can afford to have an illustrated cover designed, my Wee Bit of Integrity must endure as is. Sob!

Of course, if you have a direct line to the rights department at Channel 4, I’d really appreciate your help :)

Six of my books are available in paperback, as print-on-demand through Lightning Source and Ingram. The easiest way to buy them is to enquire at your favourite bookseller, and quote the ISBN (International Standard Book Number).

To make it easier, I've listed them below.

Sascha Martin's Rocket-Ship: A Hilarious Sci Fi Action and Adventure Book for Kids
Written by John Arthur Nichol
Illustrated by Manuela Pentangelo
ISBN 978-0-9954183-0-1

Sascha Martin's Time Machine: A Kids' Scifi Adventure That Will Have You in Stitches. It's Funny, Too!
Written by John Arthur Nichol
Illustrated by Manuela Pentangelo
ISBN 978-0-9954183-5-6

Sascha Martin's Super Ball: His Worst Disaster yet ... by Leaps and Bounds!
Written by John Arthur Nichol
Illustrated by Manuela Pentangelo
ISBN 978-0-6489059-6-7

Sascha Martin's Christmas Eve: It's a Magical Journey, or Else!
Written by John Arthur Nichol
Illustrated by Manuela Pentangelo
ISBN 978-0-9954183-9-4

The Fifth Line: Limericks after Lear Book One
Written by John Arthur Nichol
Illustrated by Rory Walker
ISBN 978-0-6489059-0-5

The Next Hundred Lears: Limericks after Lear Book Two
Written by John Arthur Nichol
Illustrated by Rory Walker
ISBN 978-0-6489059-4-3