A young woman on the bus attends to her phone. She has long, brown, silky hair, a burgundy dress and pointy nails the colour of coagulating blood. Her screen slowly unfurls four things that ‘men shouldn’t be allowed to have’:

lowercase letters
running water

With this undigested the phone moves on, demanding to know whether Tana Mongeau and Jeff Wittek are dating, but there’s just no easy answer to that: I don’t know who they are.