I can only record audio on Sundays. The time in between fills up with self-doubt and criticism.

Politicians and certain others aside, we tend to dislike hearing ourselves. Listening to my own voice is difficult. I’d love to hear Sascha’s stories read by someone who really knows what they’re doing with their voice, an actor, a performer, with audio production by experts.

But we start where we are.

Work continues on episodes of the podcast. When I started this I didn’t appreciate how many obstacles I’d be facing. Surely, I thought, I can record myself reading the stories.

I’m not an actor, though. I’m not a performer, and I’m not an audio engineer.

But I am a huge self-critic, and the internal voice is forever damning my speech, my expression, my technical skills and my editing. It’s constantly rubbishing the entire project. All I want to do is get these stories out there in an accessible form - short audio episodes to fit into busy routines - to see if there’s an audience for them. But in my mind I’m comparing them to the BBC.

I didn’t think I had to voice actual characters. I thought I could just read their lines expressively. But as I go on I find myself wanting real voices for Sascha and Luca, Aggie, Aisha and the indomitable, insufferable Mary-Alice. I have a Sascha voice that I don’t much like, and a Mary-Alice tone that sometimes hits right.

Recently I asked someone with a wonderful to be the voice of Aisha. I thought she’d wandered off to other endeavours, but she’s still on board, still keen, and still sounds brilliant. The podcast is progressing, and one day it will launch, officially. Meanwhile, the teasers are available here on the site.

Sascha Martin’s Ripping News: the Podcast, by John Arthur Nichol

Teaser Episode 3: Sascha Martin’s Gobbly Goo, Part Three

Our third and final Teaser concludes the tale of Sascha Martin’s Gobbly Goo, an incident too rude to be told. At the end of Teaser 2, the galloping goo had overrun the last great bastion of order and authority. Now, listen on, as Sascha’s nightmare gobbles its way to an end that isn’t, though it’s pretty conclusive.

Worst day ever!

But is it? Really?

Sascha Martin’s Ripping News: the Podcast, by John Arthur Nichol

Teaser Episode 2: Sascha Martin’s Gobbly Goo, Part Two

In Teaser 2 we continue the regrettable tale of Sascha Martin’s Gobbly Goo, an episode taken out of sequence because laughter is an important thing to share. If you’ve listened to Teaser 1, you’ll know that something truly terrible has happened to Mary-Alice Cooper, drama queen; and now this truly terrible something is coming for everyone … and everything … and everywhere.

Now, listen on.

Teaser 3, where fate intervenes, and there’s no escape from terminal embarrassment.

Sascha Martin’s Ripping News: the Podcast, by John Arthur Nichol

Teaser Episode 1: Sascha Martin’s Gobbly Goo, Part One

This story was written years ago, but I could never work out how to finish it because, as you’ll hear, there’s not much left to work with in the end. But I liked the story because it was funny and rude, and diabolical for the grown-ups involved. So here it is - Sascha Martin’s Gobbly Goo: an embarrassing story in three parts.

Teaser 2, where Sascha’s Gobbly Goo unleashes its naked power.

Transcript